Prepare yourself for the most stunning news of the new millennium: Children are difficult.
I suppose our story is the same as many parents with young children. We, of course, love them unconditionally, but there are times when I think the good lord is graciously repaying me for the havoc I caused as a child.
Overall, things are good. The occasions where I wish I could pull my bottom lip over my face and swallow seem to be few and far between. But when those times do arrive, they strike with the fury and intensity of a crazed militant, ruthless and unrelenting. Everything seems to be fine, and then.....BAM, it's bedtime, or.....POW, it's bath time. The proverbial feces hitteth the fan. Please don't misunderstand, the overwhelming majority of the time things run pretty smoothly. The thing that gets me....it always seems to come as a surprise. I never even give it a thought. To me, its just time to do what needs to be done. To the kids, it's an earth shattering interruption. Have you ever seen the show Intervention. It reminds me of some poor person getting the news that their family has had enough. "No Way?!", Kids think, "Are you telling me this guy is saying I can't play Lightning McQueen anymore!?" I'm telling you, bedtime is like rehab for kids. They have to come down off of the toy high. I swear, sometimes I see them starting to sweat and shake a little.
Thank goodness I do not have the issues that some do. Our kids are usually great. I promise. It could definitely be worse, we haven't yet dialed Nanny 911. Holy Crap! If that show doesn't make you feel better, nothing will. But even when things are good, they can take a horrible turn.
Last night, at dinner, my 2 year old was sitting down enjoying a quite tasty home cooked meal. My wife and I look up and he has his usual expression that means we are going to have a steamy mess to clean. I try to catch him and run to the "potty", damn if it wasn't too late. Right in the middle of the dining room floor, rich and juicy, running down both legs. Potty training is the most wonderful experience I've ever had the pleasure of poking my eyes out over. Right now, there are those of you saying get used to it because you 've been there and think we deserve to live through what you have. Others, not yet blessed with the miracle of parenthood, are convinced these stories are told for population control. Either way, I'm still cleaning up life's rancid, eye watering messes. I would love to hear your stories, misery loves company.
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2 comments:
well look at it this way...your son will not be pooping in his pants on his wedding day, right? There's light at the end of the tunnel!
I have kids, and I still think people tell those stories for population control. lol.
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