It seems like everyone knows "this guy". The guy I'm speaking of tells stories of such unbelievable magnitude that it goes beyond comical, to almost even feeling sorry for the type of person who has the time to think up such ridiculous nonsense.
Let me give you some background info. First, he works with me. Basically, this means he makes average money at best. If you didn't catch my last entry, I work for a lawn care company. Anyway, jeez, I don't even know where to start with this guy, there are so many great ones. First, he told us that he has a state of the art garage built inside of an old farm barn to hide the fact that it is an expensive, technologically amazing land of mysterious car wonders. He proceeds to tell us that he has several meticulously restored classic cars inside the architectural wonder. Everything from a Dodge Charger to rocket fuel powered drag cars. This garage, er, barn....is climate controlled and the cars never come out. He also says that he can't take pics because the flash photography will fade the paint. I think you're starting to get the idea. Further, he has, low and behold, a wolf...that's right...wolf...to guard previously mentioned barn, er, garage..whatever.
This incredible beast is trained only to his commands, and hunts his dinner for him when he is working on the cars too late to make it out for dinner. That's right! This amazing animal hunts
down dinner for this guy, can you believe it!?
This isn't the half of it. Once upon a time, this fellow also worked for a fast food restaurant famous for their tacos. This chain is owned by Pepsi. He told us that he acquired so much stock for Pepsi that he lives off the interest and works lawn care to stay busy. Last year, with so much money in the bank, he sued a major financial institution for mishandling all of these funds and they settled out of court for over three hundred thousand dollars. I could go on and on, but who has time.
If you have your own pathological entertainer, drop a comment for the rest of us to enjoy his or her stories, even if its only to make us feel better about our meager, simple lives. Until next time, be sure to find your mansphere.
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2 comments:
I know this guy!
Really- in my real job- I run an office for a construction company.
When they (a few of my subs) want to shoot the breeze they come in and waste my time. Most I like- but at least one is this guy.
I have a sign on my desk that just says "i am not impressed" that I pull out just for him :-) I think he must think since I'm female I must actually believe that crap.
Hey...those are some damn funny stories.
The first thing that came to mind is Heather. Oh Heather. I've known Heather since high school & she's been telling the stories ever since. Back in high school, her best ones were that she a) owned the side of a mountain and b) that her grandmother had a Rolls Royce. This was back in the late 70's where having a Rolls Royce was like a big big big thing (not that I ever knew a difference between cars). Anyway...back to the Rolls. She was taking one of her friends to visit her grandmother and she said to the friend, "Please don't mention anything about the Rolls to my grandmother. The car broke down & she had to sell it & she's still very upset.
Heather works as a travel agent now and according to her, "I'm making money hand over fist but I really don't need it because I'm independently wealthy."
My husband and I went to a party which Heather attended a couple of years ago and yes...she was the same Heather. She looked at my husband and said "You have no idea how difficult life for an heiress can be." He was like "wah?" I don't think he got it because it was so random but I walked out of the room laughing...relieved that Heather was still Heather and could still provide such entertainment with her perpetual lying...or rather...stories.
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