hodge podge

I'm still very new to writing anything where people might actually read it, but I was struck by the notion that in an arena as casual as this(and the fact that very few people will actually read it), it doesn't have to be a controlled story with the classic points of literature.

Hence the title Hodge Podge.

Instruction manuals, to me, are just another person's opinion.

Grilled Cheese sandwiches and pizza from a kit should count as being able to cook.

Yes, sex and food is all we ever think about, just ask my wife. Proof of this is I can't keep my hands off her when she's in the kitchen, it's a match made in heaven.

Some will appreciate this more than others. About two years ago, a gentleman at work had a warranty request to replace a dead sand cherry tree in a customer's landscape. He was young and inexperienced, only having worked with us for a couple of weeks. He wasn't running the job, just assisting, but somehow the p.o. and invoice made it to him first. The invoice read as follows:

At customer request, please replace dead sand

chry in rear scape. cust. #123456

He proceeded to ask me (at that point in time I was a production manager), "What in the world should I do with all this dead sand, and where do i find some to replace it? How much is there even going to be, is it all going to fit in the dump truck.?" Yes, it did come as a surprise to me that sand is alive at one point in time, and that you could actually find a supply place to pick up live and kickin' sand to replace that damn dead sand. You know, it does have a pretty short life expectancy. The other sad part to the whole story is that we use Wonderlic (tm) for new hires. Goes to show you how reliable that test can be at times. This is a true story...he actually did think that there was a giant pile, or bed, or something full of dead sand. He didn't make it very long.

If I had the means, I would open a store where every checkout is 12 items or less, and writing checks and using coupons is strictly prohibited.

I dated a girl in high school who thought that "twin cam" was the name of her car because it was on the fender.

I love it when people don't know the real words to a song, and fill in what they think the words sound like. I am guilty of this.

I love to do the robot. I love watching people do the robot. I don't care if this makes me a complete idiot. At some point I will post a poor quality video of my robot prowess.

I am a man who realizes that it is harder to stay home with children, than to go to work everyday.

I'm tired and hungry, if this wasn't entertaining, try me again tomorrow. Leave comments for me even if it's only to tell me I'm a jackass, its the only way these will get better.

I'm gonna make like a new born and head out. see ya.